>^,,^<Thou shalt jump onto the keyboard
when thy human is on the modem.
>^,,^< Thou shalt pull the phone
cord out of the back of the modem.
>^,,^< Thou shalt unroll all
of the toilet paper off the roll.
>^,,^< Thou shalt sit in front
of the television or monitor, as thou art
transparent.
>^,,^< Thou shalt projectile
vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
>^,,^< Thou shalt walk in on
a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
>^,,^< Thou shalt lie down with
thy butt in thy human's face.
>^,,^< Thou shalt leap from
great heights onto thy human's genital region.
>^,,^< Fast as thou are, thou
can run through closed doors.
>^,,^< Thou shalt reset thy
human's alarm clock by walking on it.
>^,,^< Thou shalt climb on the
garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.
>^,,^< Thou shalt jump onto
the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
>^,,^< Thou shalt jump onto
thy sleeping human's bladder at 4a.m.
>^,,^< Thou shalt realize that
the house is a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.
>^,,^< Thou shalt trip thy humans
if they are walking too slow.
>^,,^< Thou shalt push open
the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
>^,,^< Thou shalt remember that
even though thou are a carnivore,
houseplants are meat.
>^,,^< Thou shalt not show remorse
when being scolded.